And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom
Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself
No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge
Difficulties in relationship are one of the common causes of unhappiness and often bring people into therapy.
Maybe you are struggling with your friendships or finding it hard to communicate with a partner, family, children or your work colleagues.
We humans are relational beings, we’re naturally sociable and in order to be healthy and happy we need interactions with others and meaningful relationships we can trust . In fact research shows that if we have stable relationships and a good support network we are likely to live longer and have less physical illnesses.
Meaningful supportive relationships don’t just happen they need work and ….even supportive connections can sometimes break down or not fulfill our expectations. How we respond to those ruptures is important to the future of the relationship.
Sometimes we may really want to have a network of supportive relationships with friends and family but find them difficult to get or to maintain.
We form relationships from childhood and we learn some rules about how relationships work from these early models which we might unconsciously hold onto as adults. So for example a child who was bullied or traumatized somehow, may find when they are on the receiving end of criticism from a partner or boss that they feel powerless and afraid to say anything or, they may react angrily with little regard for what they say. The child who used humour to keep the peace in their family may use humour to diffuse anything that has the potential to be even slightly confrontational. This results in them not being able to state their perspective on things and then they may possibly feel that no one takes account of their needs.
Therapy helps us explore how we developed patterns of relating and how they might be affecting our current relationships. Developing insight into our own patterns of relationship allows us to notice which are useful and which may be hampering us. This awareness allows us the opportunity to make choices about our behavior, to change old habits and develop more fulfilling relationships.