And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom
Don’t turn away. Keep your gaze on the bandaged place. That’s where the light enters you
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself
No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge
During long-term relationships people face many important decisions, life events and turning points. When couples take different approaches it can become difficult to talk and support each other, leaving each partner possibly feeling lonely, isolated, angry, rejected, unsafe and unsupported.
Having therapy as a couple in a safe, mediated space offers the opportunity to air thoughts and feelings and to hear each other. It can be a way of opening up communication to gain a better understanding of the underlying issues.
Sometimes men are afraid that if they come to couple therapy with a female counsellor they will be blamed. I take a relational perspective – which in everyday language means that I recognize ‘there are two sides to every story’.
In my couple work I integrate Emotionally Focussed Therapy (EFT) which is one of the most empirically validated approaches in the field, and has a solid body of research showing positive outcomes for couples. EFT recognises that relationship distress arises from a perceived threat to basic adult needs for safety, security and closeness in intimate relationships and offers a process for healing distressed relationships.
Together we will identify unhelpful patterns that have developed in your relationship and work to rebuild intimacy and support for you both.
I have experience in working with various areas of unhappiness in long term relationships which include…
- communication difficulties
- anger/ arguments
- uncertainty about commitment
- life transitions
- sexual difficulties
- becoming parents
- abuse in the relationship
- impact of work on the relationship
- repeating destructive relationship patterns
- separation and divorce
- family dilemmas
- fertility issues
Counselling can also support couples wishing to end a marriage or long-term relationship.